The Bubbies Blog

I AM CANCER FREE! 1-16-2012

2012-01-18T20:41:00.000-05:00

Well 2012 started out well so far, i know I have to fill you all in on alot that has happened in the past month, But wanted to shout out first it is official from Dr. Greenberg on January 16th he said I am disease free. Mom asked if that meant I was in remission & he says no I am disease free. Because they removed my breast & lymph nodes there was nothing to shrink & I went through the chemo & am still going through radiation (I'm 1/2 way done) all my blood levels are back to normal & organs look good! Ye haw!!
So my next step is finish radiation, started to get some burns not too bad but they say it can get worse & the fatigue hits me a bit by the end of each week but I'll take it if it means disease free!
The back story leading up to all this.....Christmas....Mom wanted to do this in the mountains the same town where we do the Italians invade the lake in the summer. But this time the Italians invaded the mountain. We arrived to "Ski & Glee" that was the name of the house. There was snow the day we arrived but it all melted by day 2, it was one of the warmest weeks they've had up there in years? That's OK. there was plenty for us to do, the house had an arcade & when I say arcade I don't mean a few games i mean an arcade.! I got high score on the one driving game. So my name is on the licence plate of 3 of the cars. (YES, I am proud of this, have you met my brothers?) It also had an indoor pool. Hot tub, & sauna.
There was plenty of food ( as if you where all shocked about that) we did our traditional seafood chippino, stuffed calamari, and then Lobsters!
Then there was the present opening, I call it that cause it just isn't gift giving its a montage of presents being opened. I of course had the most as I always do.( its a requirement) I think my brothers had 1 more then me 1 year & I made mom wrap something lame just so they wouldn't. yes i am 44 & still worrying about this.
But i got one of the best gift ever this year, (no it wasn't the gnome, or the forever lazy. although I love them both) It was a song. Mom, Laura, Stephanie & Kati sang me a song that mom wrote. called "Let it grow" to the music of Let it snow, It was on the Holiday Tits album sung by "Las TaTa's" I will post it for you all to hear. I was more moved then I could have ever imagined, I laughed & cried.
We took pictures in matching PJ'S not a favorite for some of the men, But the girls loved it! Were a pretty cute group if I do say so myself?
Then Christmas eve Joe & I went to his mom & pops. Michele came in from Colorado, Chuck, Andrea, Charlotte, & Marco where there & His cousin Dee & Rick came too. That was a nice surprise, I haven;t spent alot of time with them so it was really nice & it was a lot of fun. Lots of laughs! Charlotte was curious about the wigs so I brought them for her to try on, she was so cute with them & that was so fun.
Lots of food again, Dolores made her famous cotton cookies (their like wedding rings) Joe & I love them & we still do the fish but it gets changed up a bit there's dungeness crab! Yum. It was the first crab I've had since chemo & it was sooooo good.
Then Christmas Day we went to my friend Lisa's ( I've been going there on Xmas day for over 10 years) Its always a blast. After a dinner of surf & turf, we play LRC. (its a gambling dice game) I was hoping they would take pity on me this year & maybe I'd win, but no such luck? I gotta work on my skill & try to win all my money back.
New Years we where supposed to go to the MD Peditto's like we do every year, But PP got the Flu & I wanted no parts of that. So instead we went to dinner in Philly w/ Lisa, my friend Mollye, & Charlie Brown showed up). Then watched the Fireworks at Pennslanding I was impressed they where really good.
So as I've been saying since January 1st. NEW YEAR NEW LIFE!
I still have a long road ahead, I have another surgery, I'm waiting to have my other breast removed & my ovaries taken once the Dr. gets me the date I will let you all know. Then i will heal for about 6 months from everything & can have Reconstruction. But again I'll take it cause I AM CANCER FREE!
So since I still have stuff to talk about I will still keep posting. Hope you all still read along!
Thank You all so much for all your support. Enjoy the video music is my let it grow song.
xoxo

A Thanksgiving to be thankful 12-5-11

2011-12-17T21:31:00.000-05:00

It's been almost a month since my last post. & boy have I been busy. I went for chemo on the 14th, levels were low, lower then ever. But I could still get the taxatier, but had to take the nupogion shots again! This sucks but In order to feel well again I need these shots. My white counts are only a 4, & that's to low for 2 weeks. So Joe again gets to be the barer of the bad shot. We discover if I put an ice pack on the spot first & numb it that makes the sting not so bad.
I then have to go back the following week to check the counts again. I go back for this on November 23rd. But before that we go into Philly on the 20th to see my bestie Lisa run in the Philly marathon. & she did it 13.1 miles so proud of my friend. Like I said to you before the race " I'll never give up" & neither did you! Then Monday we celebrate Joe's birthday. He turned 47 on the 21st! So me, his mom & sister Michele take him to the crab trap for dinner. It was a lot of fun I love seeing him w/ his family we have a lot of laughs & had a fun waitress that we all kept busting on. I had a coconut muffin (some of you might not know but I love all things coconut) so she gave me a whole bag of them. & I never even had to Pull the C card?
Now on that wed at my Dr's apt. my counts are through the roof, in a good way. But I have a whole new set of side effects. The numb tongue, still neoropathy in the fingers & feet. Now headaches again. Spots in front of my eyes kinda like seeing trails.
So the Dr is concerned I have a high toxicity level to the taxatier, we talk about being done with chemo. The Dr said that it was OK for me to stop , that the amount of chemo that I had received especially in the beginning was the most important dose. So I cry hug Donna the receptionist & Cathy the nurse. I'm done! I was on a cloud that day. Really did not know how to feel.
I immediately called my mom she was visiting Kati at school w/ Stephanie. So I made the announcement a thankful thanksgiving no more Chemo was done!
O!I called everyone & cried tears of joy. I then went to get coffee after all the excitement & run into Father Frank ( Gabe's brother the one Gina asked to pray for me in Rome the St.Jude Father) he gave me a blessing, then probably ran away, I was like a crazed fan. So excited to meet him!
Thanksgiving was that week we went to Chuck & Andrea's & it was great to see the family, it's been since the summer, Andreas sister, brother in law & nephew were there so this was really nice it's the first time I've met some of her family. Charlotte was excited to see what wig I was going to be wearing. I wore the long one knowing Char likes long hair. But promised her I'd bring the wigs for Christmas so she could try them on. At dinner we all said something we were thankful for, Marco decided he was thankful for uncle Joe & wanted us to all say that too. I said I was thankful for my health & my fiance (Marco's Uncle Joe) & his support he was my rock more the i ever expected & the families mine & his for being so supportive. Then Char belted out So when are you & uncle Joe getting married! Really.... out of the mouth of an 8 year old.
That weekend my Hammonton Girls & I went to see the cake boss at the Trop. Gina's idea she had press seats & Colleen has connections. We went to dinner at the Palm first (Comped, again Colleen) & then went to see the show. I loved it. I laughed, cried, & understood his sarcasm, it was like being with the family. At the end Colleen noticed he was signing autographs & thought they where giving out cake, so we went over to line & it was a VIP line, But yup you guessed it Colleens name was on the list! We where in. We get up to him he signs all the aprons Amy has bought for us ( its supposed to be a free night?) & then Colleen pulls the 'c" card shes been waiting to do that for months. I'm glad she did I got a kiss, hug & hes gonna pray for me! But no cake.
All that good news & It took me this long to tell everyone......Sorry.
Radiation starts December 27th. But I will fill you all in hopefully before then, we have the Italians invade the lake Christmas coming up, this should be some good writing.
Merry Chrristmas!
xoxo

6 Down 2 To Go...................11-11-11.

2011-11-11T19:57:00.000-05:00

This is going to be a long post....
Started the new chemo Taxatier, its the sister to the Taxol. Side effects still neuropathy (just not as bad) nausea, lowers white blood count, aches & pains, oh basically the same as everything else. But only a 2 1/2 hour treatment.
So I had treatment on Monday the 31st. Happy Halloween to me).
It wasn't to bad a process. Dr. Matumba was there asked him about taking B12 to help the neuropathy but he said no but i could take B6. So I am.
Tuesday after treatment feel great, Wednesday hits me again about 3. Tired, not as achy, Thursday I'm beat and now not only are my finger tips numb, but my tongue and whole mouth is. Ugggggg. this is not a good feeling. I sleep most of the day away, brush my teeth every time I get up, just to keep the mouth sores away.
Thursday night I am so sore I have to take a hydracodone & decide maybe some cold sesame noodles I get up get dizzy pass out! Then start to get nauseous. Now many of you don't know this about me but I hate i mean hate anything that has to do with vomiting. (not that anyone does) But I cant hear see it smell it anything or i get sick so if i am about to get sick myself i try my hardest not to! (thanks mom for passing this on to me). I dry heave and pass out again when I decide to try and get up. Joe then puts me on the couch take a zofran and out i go for 2 hours. But I wake up feeling ok.
On Friday I'm doing pretty good. We are going to visit the MD Peditto's on Sunday & I have a follow up with Dr. Sacks on Monday at Hopkins.
I feel much better on Sunday still a bit tired, but feel good. Paul & Stephanie invited Charlie & Jane over for dinner that night & i can't wait i know it will be lots of laughs & lots of rebuttling......even Nick jumped in on the humor.
Monday get to Hopkins for lunch meet Stephanie, & stop to see the Jesus statue. Its my first time i see him as every time Ive been there its either been rushed or Ive been in surgery. This is cool, you are to touch his foot or his robe ( I touched both) & you can write a note for prayers.
Me, Joe & Stephanie go up to the breast ctr, & see Dr. Sacks, he checks out the boob & is so impressed with it. and I quote " that's the best looking nipple sparing mastectomy, That's one for the record books" Joe was waiting for him to take a picture to use it on his business cards.
He also feels if I could have the other breast removed have an expander put in & the overectamy done at the same time. Then everything would be ready for reconstruction in about 6, 9 or 12 months after everything heals from radiation.
I went for a blood check on Wednesday and my white counts where down to 2? But Dr. Greenberg feels i am on the up swing, and things should be good for treatment number 7 on the 14th. Something may have to change he said though because the tongue numbness is a concern. I will be done on the 28th!!!!
Also if I haven't mentioned it, chemo can & did send me into menopause, ok so beware, mood swings are at a high, hot flashes are unbelievable, if you've ever seen the sex in the city episode when Samantha had cancer & she is talking at the award ceremony & starts to have a hot flash says "oh F-it" & rips off her wig. I do that i think once an hour!!!! So i started to take vitamin e this is supposed to help?
I had a nice surprise on Thursday, Cousin Kristy came to visit. We are 5 months apart (shes older). and when we where young spent sooo much time together, she lives in Medford lakes & did when we where young too. 2 Quick stories......I think we were about 10 & where riding double on her banana seat bike, but I was on the handlebars going down a huge hill in the lakes, hit a rock (or bolder) and we went flying. I still have the scars on my elbows. (it was her idea). oh & at about 13, our family had a small family reunion at our Gparents house in Ventnor & we decided to walk up to Steel Pier in AC, it got dark & w/ no $ left could not get back. So we went into the Astor Hotel on pacific ave.( I think that was the name) & had to call the parents. They were not happy. (That may have been my idea?) Any way, we may not see each other that often but having lunch with her & talking was like we never missed a beat. It completely made my week! I love you cuz. Thank You.
I went today to see Dr. Harvey the radiologist, she needed to get my measurements for radiation. that was interesting. You lie on a cat scan table, boob out arms above the head. then the pillow thingy you lay on is a mold that they form to your shape as well as align a beam across the breast area, then they tattoo 3 little dots one on either side of both breasts & one in the center of the chest area. They look like freckles, & yes they are real permanent tattoos. I asked if I could get something cool, like stars , moons & maybe a ribbon.
Then photos of the area. and that's it. I will start radiation on December 27th. it will be about 15 min. everyday for 6 weeks. So on or about February 7th I will be done that! Then hopefully sometime in February remove the other breast, put in the expander and overectamy.
& depending on how my skin reacts to radiation, reconstruction sometime from September to February 2013.
xoxo

This picture is of Me & Karlee C, (shes not happy) with a 6 foot Snake. At Anthony & Carmello M's Sixth Birthday Party.

A Shout Out to some supporters

2011-10-24T10:17:00.001-04:00

Just wanted to inform you all of some amazing support I have gotten during this time. These are just two recent ones from town.
Jeanine from Studio 21 Beauty Bar in Hammonton has been doing Pink blinged out Martini glasses in honor of me & The koman foundation. & Is doing a brows for breasts event. Here's her ad...............................
Win free brows for one year! In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month, Studio 21 will be holding a BROW-A-THON October 27 from 1 to 4 p.m. With a $10 donation for breast cancer research, you'll receive gorgeous brows and the chance to win free eyebrow shaping for an entire year! Brows for breasts
Also David Charles Jewelry in Hammonton is donating a protion of the proceeds from the breast cancer items to The Shirley Mae fund. In honor of me). Shirley Mae helps local women with cancer.
Thank you both so much for all your support. I am truly touched.
xoxo

Breast Cancer Walk, & the Next step of Chemo........Taxol Oct. 24

2011-10-24T09:52:00.002-04:00

Wow Lots to catch up on........First my today is my much older brother Paul's Birthday, so Happy Birthday PP! LOVE YOU SO MUCH, For being you & for always being there for me.
Last week was the Breast Cancer walk in OC NJ. I had wrote about it a few month ago. Laura designed the T-shirt & it turned out so cool. We had a beautiful day with some of my favorite people. Me & Joe, Mom, Lisa & Linda (long), My cousins came from North jersey Joanna, & Marie from Penncy, & brought me my fave. cookies she makes!, My Hammonton peeps came & brought lots of Pink Bling, LisaJo, Joanne, Cassy & My Karlee who made a Team Toni Banner for us to carry. & Of course my sidekick & her family Colleen, Ant, Lil Ant ( who if you ask what I have, he says I have sarcasm, he's 5 & already knows how sarcastic I can be) & Carmello & Megan. 2 of them kind of ate their way up & down the boardwalk. But the support was there. It was a sea of pink, support & very moving. So glad I was up for doing it.
I started the Taxol treatment the following Monday, The side effects are numbness in the hands & feet, body aches & all the other typical side effects. But the Dr. said most of those don't hit until a few treatments in.......AHHH Yea not so much!
They started of with giving me the IV of steroids, zofran & emmend. Then a large IV bag of benadryl, thats just in case i have an allergic reaction to the Taxol? So about an hour into getting the bennidril, i was still talking Lisa was there trying to do work while hanging with me, I made grocery lists for Mom who ran to Walmart . Kathy the nurse did not understand how I was still awake. Her reply most people would be asleep by now for at least a few hours. Lisa said she thought I was talking more...oh well I guess the benadryl had an adverse effect on me. It made me hyper? I did take a quick nap for maybe about an hour. But the whole process was 5 & a 1/2 hours.....Yea no one warned me of that. Good think I have the new Angry Birds game on my phone!
I felt pretty good the rest of the day, tired but I think mostly because it was just a long day.
They next day felt fine, same a before kind of rejuvenated. Most likely because of all the steroids I've been pumped up with.
Day 3, about 3:00 I hit the wall.......baaadddd. Body aches & the tingling in the fingers had started so bad I couldn't button a button. The bottoms of my feet were burning, & the aches where so bad I swear you could hear my knees Creek. Luckily I still had hydrocodone from before so that was it I needed to pop them & sleep. I was able to eat normally, no nausea. Thank Goodness. But up until Sunday I felt like I was 110.
So now I know what to expect, I go in today for blood work to check my counts that will be done through my port since last week the nurse slipped & I have a quarter sizee bruise on my arm!
Then 3 more treatments left. November 28th will be my last one!!!!!!!!!! & I should be good to go for the December Christmas season, I can not wait to eat Crabs & Spaghetti.
Below are pictures from the walk.
xoxo

Hammonton Gazette Article On Me & Breast Cancer

2011-10-07T11:01:00.000-04:00

Round 4.....the last of the A/C chemo 10-1-11

2011-10-07T10:07:00.000-04:00

Sorry never posted from the last chemo, & for the delay in posting, I've realized that typing on the computer & just looking at the computer makes my eyes & head hurt. I did not get the nuelasta shot, the Dr prescribed the nuepogin shot because it was the nuelasta that was giving me the migraine. Joe got the lucky job of giving me the shot at home for 6 days, so I needed to be nice to him. After this treatment in 2 weeks I will start the taxoil treatments, now that Ive got the A/C chemo down on what works & makes me feel better treatment will change.
Here are a few tips I've learned......
Eating an ice pop while getting chemo helps w/ the mouth sores
If I feel like a mouth sore is starting I eat an ice cube and numb the area & it seems to go away.
I had a bad esophagus burn and reflux from the chemo (that's lovely) so the Dr prescribed prilocet & that helps so much! Plus tums, lots of tums.
Cousin Stephanie D. Recommended preggi pops for the nausea they're found at maternity stores & they really work. Oh & they're all natural.
Of course the steroids cause hot head & with it having been hot out I would get the chills so keeping a scarf on my bald head helped keep the heat in & my body temp comfortable.
Taking a clairatin the night before I would get the nuepogin shot helps keep the bone ache down, don't know why but that was a tip from the Melinda the nurse at the center for cancer.

But for a quick update I'm doing pretty good, usually a few days down after chemo then about 6 days or so where I kinda feel like myself. Taste buds are off but that's OK. Cranberry juice, OJ & black cherry soda all taste good.
Also 2 new wigs, one was for a Housewives tour, My sidekick Colleen & I went to see the ladies dish....It was a fun night out & I gotta say they look better in person.
Then Moms wavy hair wig, It has a lace front so I need to cover it with a scarf, or it looks odd. But strangely enough I liked it, & any of my high school & Disney friends may remember when I actually had this hair & paid a lot of $$$ for it.
I was interviewed by the local paper for a series they are doing on cancer in town it's really good I'd I do say so myself. I'll post it on another page for your reading enjoyment. It's very exciting, another Peditto is in the news. Not about an animal rescue or a screen play, but cancer awareness!

It's breast cancer awareness month so if you haven't gotten your mammogram nows is as good a time as any!
Xoxo
Just a reminder....no judging on the spelling bad enough i have no idea how to spell some of these meds, I now have whats called Chemo brain (yes it's real) so you have no memory & am a bit scrambled when it comes to re-reading & writing.

The Strawberry stork mark? Sept. 19th

2011-09-19T21:22:00.000-04:00

First I want to start off Wishing my god child Bopper Kati Peditto A very Happy 18th Birthday today! I love you.
So a quick cancer update. No Chemo today...White count is just a bit to low. But I did take the Nupogin shot & so far so good. I go back on Wednesday 9-21-11, if I'm all good, then I get chemo.
The reason for the title of this post is a genetic question. After losing all my hair Lisa asked if she had hurt me because she thought I had a rash on the back of my neck? My mom said no that's her Strawberry birthmark, all the Peditto's have one. I thought she was crazy, but as you will see in the picture of me & Darren we both have the same mark. Mom said Paul has it too. She also said Grandmom Peditto said that all her boys had them? So I am throwing this out there to all my cousins who are reading this & if you can ask around to those that are not. Who else has this birthmark? Now Zackary does not have one, but I think the gene must come from the father, & I know Kati has one cause I distinctly remember it. Not sure about Nick? (Paul or Steph does he?) Also I think Anna has one but can't be positive, but I will find out.
And is it a Peditto thing only or is it a Monaco thing too? I am so curious. Please let me know.
I have also added some pictures of my wigs......so far Its a Blonde, Purple tips, & then the basic black. But no worries more will follow soon.
xoxo

OC NJ Breast Cancer walk Oct 16th

2011-09-14T21:43:00.000-04:00

Wanted to give everyone the heads up on Oct 16th we will be doing ( I hope to be doing, depending on how i feel) the OC NJ Breast Cancer walk on the boardwalk. If you would like to join us, the more the merrier.
http://makingstrides.acsevents.org/site/TR/MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer/MSABCFY12Eastern?fr_id=35961&pg=entry
This is the registration for that walk.
My cousin also designed a t-shirt if your interested & would like one let me know what size. I waiting on the cost to have the t-shirts printed but don't think it should be much.
Thank You for all the prayers & support.
xoxo,
Tonilyn

Round 2 Chemo & Get out the Buzzers Sept. 14th

2011-09-14T21:26:00.000-04:00

Again I apologize for the delay in my posting. It seems that this will be the normal amount of time in between posts after a chemo treatment. They are kicking my Ass! We or should I say I decided on treatment day
(9-7-11) that I was not going to take the Nuelasta shot or the Nupogin. If that's the cause of the migraines i wanted to narrow it down so it didn't happen again. Now lets hope when I go back on Monday Sept. 19th. My white count is OK & lucky me can have another treatment rather then having to skip a week to wait for them to go up.
So the pattern seems to be Treatment day....pretty good. a bit tired due to all the waiting and the fact that i', being given poison.
The 2nd day......Really good almost a boost, I'm sure from all the steroids & everything that is still moving through the system.
The 3rd day......Still pretty good, eating well a bit more tired but can still get around.
Day 4, 5, 6 out......That's about it, just out sort of an out of body experience, some nausea, very tired & then theres hot head from steroids, sweating, chills, dry mouth, your thirsty but nothing tastes good, so you don't want to drink( but you have to, to keep hydrated). Then the pills that help most of that just knock you oh & then theres the indigestion, so i eat a box of tums which adds to the dry mouth. Yup the fun has begun.
But if I can have 4 or 5 good days before my next treatment I'll take it.
Only 6 more to go..............
On another side effect as was said before I should loss my hair. Yup I did. I was told 14 days from the first chemo it was to the day. That's pretty good estimating.
So on Tuesday night I had my girlfriend Lisa come over to shave my head. It was better then waking up with it all over my pillow. ( Thank You Kristin, for that bit of advice. You were correct! That was a much better idea).
I decided to make it a bit of a party. Because it was last minute I didn't really get to invite a lot of people. But those that showed up where real troopers! Thank You, Lisa for the head shave it means more then you will ever know. Mom for not crying until Stephanie text you back, Amy for the professional photos,
Colleen (sidekick) for the idea to carve initials in the back of my head & not being the first one to cry, Jessica via Face time for the Mohawk idea & trying to control the situation from Maine. & Of course Joe for sitting in the back ground then kissing my head & telling me you love me & that you think I'm still beautiful hair or no hair. You guys really are a great support system. I love you all.
So now I sport a wig but a scarf more then that. wigs are itchy.
Then the next day I got even more support, my brother Darren shaved his head, & my cousin-in-law Tim who is married to my cousin Victor, shaved his head in support of me. Talk about touched, really i do not expect people to do that. but wow! I really feel lucky to have this amazing support system. Thanks Guys.
Until the next treatment........
xoxo

Darren & Me

Tim before & after

First Round down............Aug.31, 2011

2011-08-31T21:58:00.000-04:00

The first round of chemo is out of the way....... only 7 more to go.
I was a bit unsure how i was going to react, of course i have heard how everyone else has done, so I went into it with a very positive attitude, well lets see, it seemed the average person I have either spoken to or have heard about has had no reaction or the meds have helped them so well they have had no nausea, no aches a little tired here & there, but otherwise no reaction. So while again I went into it with the glass is half full attitude, I got to be honest i had my doubts.
I mean lets look at all the odds, my lump was found & came back at first likely to be cancer, but not definite, looked like I had maybe 3 lymphnodes? ended up with 8, only a 10% chance to be BRACA1 positive & I am, I've had a hemotoma on my hand from the IV that nurse candy cane thought was fine, 2 blown veins from blood work. On the other hand the CT, & Pet scans all came back good. So maybe chemo won't be so bad......ehhhh, Nope not so much.
It started out OK, as i had said in the previous post, i felt pretty good afterward. Went to lunch, was tired but not knocked out. took a nap slept good. Got Up the next day & felt great, went over to the store, ran errands. I was like wow this is nothing........then it all started, That afternoon we had an earthquake, & I felt it! An F'ing earthquake in NJ? Talk about a WTF moment, I was watching as the hallmark stores windows actually buckled (never broke) but it was wild.
Then on Wednesday I had a slight headache but i had to go back to the Dr. for the Nuelasta shot, this boosts the bone marrow & helps keep the white cell count up, its a time released drug so it works over a 6 day period, its side effects are achy bones & can make you a bit tired. I told him about the headache & that Tylenol was barely touching it, so he prescribed hyrdocodone so if i had the achy bones & a headache this will help both, Well that day about 4:00 i hit the wall, It sort of felt like I had the flu, not bad but just the start I ate small amounts of things like, peanut butter crackers, pastina soup. Forcing myself to eat, because now I needed to take the hydra & wasn't doing that on an empty stomach that for sure would have made me sick. It really only knocked me out, & caused terrible heart burn. Now I was eating tums like crazy. (good thing they're good for you).
Thursday was like an out of body experience, I never felt like myself still had the headache & my body was throbbing. Took 1/2 a day at the store then lots of naps.
Friday was worse yet, now I have a full blown migraine, achy bones, throbbing body & can't even get up. Oh & there's a hurricane on the way!
So call the Dr. he calls in a script for Fiorcet, for migraines & it has codine. I send Joe to pick it up, add some more peanut butter crackers, saltines, OJ, cranapple juice and Advil just for good measure. By the time the script was actually ready, he came home w/ it, the crackers & a bad generic OJ i could not drink. That's all that was left, apparently we were in an Apocalypse & no one told us?
Mom came to stay w/ us for the 2 days so she wouldn't end up like Dorothy from the wizard of OZ at her house, this also gave her the opportunity to help take care of me, even though she did not want to stay & would escape when the pills would kick in & I'd pass out for a few hours.
As it turned out Irene was really a lot of rain & strong winds for us. Our neighbor lost a big oak, but nothing was damaged & we never even lost power. Thank God (make the sign of the cross, here ). It didn't matter much to me anyway those pills knocked me out till pretty much Sunday!
I got better each day, Monday went back to the Dr, my white cells are excellent, & he feels i had a bad reaction to the Nuelasta, that this caused the headaches. So my next treatment that will be on Wednesday Sept. 7th i will get a self injecting shot of Nupogin. I will give this to myself over the next 6 days but if I feel the migraines start I'm to stop it. Then we'll test my cells & see how i do.
I just love all the testing & we'll see how you do's.......but i guess that's why its called making strides.
Mom, Me & Lisa also went wig shopping on Monday, i got 3 wigs I will post pics with all my new do's after the hair falls out. I gotta keep you waiting to see something ................my new nick name might just be
"Blonde Rapper TLP"
As of today Wednesday August 31st, I finally feel like myself. Still leery of certain foods. So, as my friend Gabe said this week "Table anything that might be a favorite, You don't want to NOT want something you love when this is all over" Good point, cause crabs & spags is my second favorite meal & just Joe mentioning making it, doesn't sound the least bit good. So I'll wait till this over to have that again!
Keep fingers & anything else crossed next week works out better.
Love all the prayers, thoughts & keep the comments coming.
xoxo

A day I will never forget......August 22

2011-08-23T23:43:00.001-04:00

Aunt JoAnn & Mom in 1988

I am dedicating the post to a women who fought breast cancer for 10 years, it started out as breast cancer, she went into remission for about 4 years, then it metastasized into lung cancer. I never saw her give up, she was always up beat, positive & in the kitchen to help out during a family dinner.
My Aunt JoAnn Prelle August 22 1946-July 24 2002, Happy 65th Birthday. If anyone should be made a saint in our family it would have to be her!
There where a lot of coincidence's this day Aug. 22. It also would have been my Pops birthday her dads he would have been 88? (mom check me on my dates?)
My cousin Laura who is Aunt JoAnn's daughter came back from Austria for being abroad for a year (she's like my kid sister). She said she went there to study to be a peaceful spy...kidding it was really for Peace & conflict resolution. But I think she just went to travel Europe. Ahh to be 26 again!
It was my first treatment of Chemo.... Laura got to be there with me.:)
The place was great, Nurses Melinda, Gene, & Francesco he was the one mixing the meds. But he was from Venice Italy with a thick Italian accent, a big plant grower so the minute he found out that Joe was a horticulturist, he was picking his brain.
I'm not sure they knew what to do with us when we arrived.....Again I seem to show up with an Entourage!Luckily there was only 1 other woman in there so we took the seat farthest from her.
Mom brought Popsicles to help with the mouth sores so we were providing info to the nurses about natural remedies. They thought it was hysterical that I wanted my picture taken with the red chemo being put in, & that i didn't like my smile in some of the shots.
It took about 2 hours by the time they give you everything, saline, anti Nausea, then the A, then the C.
By the time I was done Francesco was bringing my mom in a plant that is some kind of succulent that keeps reproducing over & over again. And Joe some radicchio seeds he just brought back from Venice.
Then we all went out to lunch at The Maplewood, I got Egg Plant parm w/ French fries. Yum.
Came home felt pretty good, a little tired I think more cause I didn't sleep from the night before, and took one of the nausea pills on a just in case basis, had a headache and still sort of do. But otherwise feel pretty good.
They have come a long way since My Aunt Jo had cancer. But I know I have an angel- plus some up there making sure I beat this.
Mom is already planning her pizzelle baking for this office to bring for the next visit.
I also need to thank & apologize to some people.......to my Mom & Joe sorry for the crazy outbursts & emotional freak outs of last week. Thanks for still talking to me.
And to Lisa, Colleen, & Jessica thank you for listening to me cry, and rant and rave about the stupid things that happened last week. I need to learn to move on........& just take care of it.
Some of this I know I can blame on cancer, hormones etc. But I'm also a Sicilian - Calibres Italian woman.

I will go back on Wednesday for the nuelesta shot to keep blood counts up, then back on the 29th for a check up to see how my first time went. Then the next week I'm off cause my day falls on Labor day. So i think my next treatment will be on the September 12th. But I will keep you all posted.
xoxo

Mom & Aunt JoAnn as teenagers

<><><> Me & Laura 2009 <><><><>

Red Chemo

The Vacation is over..........August 16

2011-08-19T23:44:00.000-04:00

Home from vacation, I will say it was very relaxing didn't do much not because I didn't want to but because I just couldn't. If you haven't seen the pictures on face book I will post some here so you can see how come we call it the Italians invade the lake. Here is a little run down.........
The house we rented this year had a large back patio, outdoor couches, hot tub, ping pong, fireplace & fire pit. It was so pretty just being out there was relaxing in it of itself.
I brought 3 of the books I've been given just so i made sure i had enough to read. The only one I read was "Cancer Schmancer" by Fran Drescher. It was awesome! Even if you don't have cancer i recommend it, funny, sad, enlightening ( I sound like the NY post book review) but a really good read. Thanks Aunt Lil for sending it to me.
We brought up the kayak's (for those of you who don't know Joe & I started Kayaking a few years ago & love it) I didn't make it out on mine, not enough mobility on the right arm just yet. But once i was able to get in the lake & hot tube that was some great PT. Also Kati had 2 friends w/her & the one's mom is a breast PT therapist so she called her for some easy exercises. Oh & Becky sings & plays guitar (awesome) & so we had a little sing a long moment by the fire.
Paul's friends ( & ours now too) Charlie & Jane & their family came up this year & rented a house too. So we had dinner w/ them 2 nights one night we cooked 18 people & another night we went to them., They did German night & I gotta say for never cooking German food before I thoroughly enjoyed it! But the night that was with us was Italian night, so Joe did his famous spaghetti & meatballs plus sausage, pork, mom made a Caesar salad oh & have i mentioned mom over compensates with food 4 different types of aps? Anyway plenty of food. so to wear off some of the food comes the "Spoons" game. Of which I have been the queen of spoons, I or should I say WE take no prisoners when we play, family friends visitors strangers Game on!
Now some of you have never heard of spoons??? Its a card game that's like musical chairs with spoons last person to grab a spoon is out! (Kati made special plastic spoons for us to use, now because metal tends to draw blood). Everyone insisted I not play their excuse i was still healing from surgery & couldn't use my right arm yet so I might get hurt, huh can you say they were all scarred, I'd win again. & We had new blood in town Charlies daughter Anna & her friend Leah, & Kati had new friends w/her this year Em, & Becky, Oh I was playing. So MY dear sister in law decides to saran wrap my arm down! For some reason Anna actually had experience in doing this before?? ( yeah don't ask).
I played left handed dealt this way & everything! Unfortunately did not win came down to the last 4, but my queen in training Kati did win, oh & she beat her dad you know my brother Perfect Paul!!! You go Girl. I gladly handed over the winners belt. Until next time, I almost have full mobility in the right arm victory will be mine again.
Oh & Joanna we play LRC too(not clr- lol) just so your aware. But that's a Xmas game w/ my friend Lisa & her family it gets very serious cause there's a lot of cash involved.
I also started to collect the smurfs from McD's, just found out you don't have to actually buy the happy meal to get the little guys! 8 later thank you very much. I remember when cousin Nancy had the whole set accessories and all I was so jealous. Well now I only need 2 of the 16 Jokey & the painter. Yes i get obsessed and a bit crazy when i feel I need to complete something.
So back to my cancer situation.... Chemo starts Monday the 22nd, and will go for 8 treatments over 16 weeks. I got the port put in on this past Monday, another fun out patient treatment. Your put under twilight sedation & numb the area with lidocaine before they slice you open. It went up above the left breast area & a wire tubing is slid to the jugular. I was out of it, but could hear what was going on, felt the first slice & let the Dr. know so he hit me up w/ more lidocaine. They were playing music it was great old rock and roll. At one point i was apparently taping my hand along to some Led Zeppelin & I know I heard the Dr. singing.
They really did a great job. Thanks to the folks at SJ Vascular!
I was sore for about 48 hours but its better now, my boob still hurts but its only been 7 weeks since surgery & they say about 3 months or so till you really get use to the expander. Lovely!
Finger crossed for the chemo to not be to bad??? I'll keep you all posted again thanks for all the posts, prayers and thoughts.

Peditto's & Ziccardi's

Kayaking Joe

Saran Spoons...see the plastic spoons

Just kidding....maybe next year?

xoxo

Round 2 begins Aug.2

2011-08-03T10:55:00.000-04:00

Hi again.....Sorry its been a bit a little while.
Here's what going on, I had my last plastic surgery appointment and expansion. Again it hurt not as bad as the first 2 times but the next day it felt like i was punched in the chest. Thank goodness for meds!
I have met with the medical oncologist for NJ Dr. Greenberg, he is with the cancer center of NJ, and was very nice. Dr.Prowell (Tinkerbell) from Hopkins called him and spoke with him about what her suggestion of treatment would be, and he said he agreed. Its exactly what he would have prescribed. That makes me feel better, not that I feel the Dr's at Hopkins are the only ones who know what they are doing but when you go in blind not having known anything about a Dr its a bit nerve racking. I did ask around and found out Dr. Greenberg had been a Dr for a few friends family members and they all loved him. He also has an office in Hammonton, so it will be very convenient for the treatments.
Here's the plan.....I go on the 4th for the mugascan ( it tests the heart to make sure its strong enough for chemo) That's at SJ radiology, then meet Dr. Harvey on the 5th shes radiology. Aug 15th blood work at virtua voorhees, Aug 16th SJ vascular to have the port put in. And first treatment of chemo will be on August 22 (aunt Joann & my pops bdays?) Yup I now know they are up there watching me! Then on the 24th I go in for the Neulasta shot this helps keep the white blood cells up.
The start of the chemo treatment will be Adrianmycin-Cytoxin the A/C. That will be 4 cycles every 2 weeks, then they will start Taxol for 4 cycles every 2 weeks. so a total of 8 weeks. If everything goes well and i keep on schedule i will be done November 21 ( Joe's Birthday!) Then I take about 4 weeks off to get back into better health and radiation will start. Not sure exactly how long yet, but will keep you all posted.
So if everything stays on track and goes according to plan I will have a chemo and Dr. free Christmas!!!
We will be going on our family vacation this week, when the Italian's invade the lake, so I will be sure to keep everyone posted on all the chaos that happens up there. Oh and I'm cleared for swimming and lite kayaking!!! But no wake boarding this year? oh well....
xoxo

The Glass is Half Full.......July 20th results

2011-07-22T15:38:00.000-04:00

Thanks to my cousin Jo for reminding me that I should never stop looking at the glass as being half full. She was right. I went in for the the cat scan & the bone scan both of which came back clear! Yay.....It was a very long day of tests but well worth it.
It started at 11 am, got to the 3rd floor of the out patient center & they put in an IV it was to send a radioactive dye through my body, for the bone scan. This takes 2 hours for that to happen so i left there & headed to the cat scan next while the dye travel though out my body. Before the cat scan I get to drink this liquid, its a red crystal light drink that helps with the contrast when they put that in. Ugh i do not drink diet things so image something really sweet with a horrible diet after taste that's red, cold and 24oz. & my family is not understanding why I'm choking it down. Let alone they only gave me about 15 minutes to drink it!
I go in for the scan its only 5 min. very odd they put this stuff in the IV & the tech says now your body is going to get very warm, & you will feel like your peeing but I promise you, you are not. I feel it omg, are you sure I'm not peeing, (really thought I was, so odd). Oh let me back up a bit, so last Wednesday when I got home from my god awful day, There was a package waiting for me. It was a quilt made by my Aunt Joan (Jessica's mom) really a beautiful purple & pink quilt for me to take with me to the Dr's knowing its so cold in the office & for when I start chemo. I have received lots of gifts, Candy from the fudge kitchen (yum), flowers, cookies, fruit, PJ'S, Holy water, Saints, Prayer cards & cards galore....Flowers, dinners, food! More things then i could ever list & truly appreciate everything. I can't not thank you all enough. But the blanket i now believe is like a good luck charm.
OK back to the scan so as always its cold in there so they let me put the CQ(cancer quilt, that's what Joe calls it) On. I also had my padre pio relic taped to my arm, & my blessed mother bracelet from Gabby ( a fellow survivor).
Next up to the 4th floor to the Breast center to meet with Laura Gavin to hopefully have the drain removed. Yup its ready, first she expands the boob more this needs to be completed before any chemo can start. So she gives me 100cc of fluid that's double the week before. Watch out Dolly Parton this baby is standing straight up! Oh & hurts like a M'fer again!!! Now she rips the drain out, literally. I'm not feeling so good, a bit pale & light headed. But i need to get down stairs to the bone scan that's in 5 mins. So in a wheel chair I go.
I've had to take to pain killers thanks to the amount of pain i am in from expansion & the drain being removed so I am a bit out of it. This test should take about 45 mins. What happens next was sort of an out of body experience....I start to fall a sleep ( lots of pain meds & I'm really covered up since its cold in there my CQ is on me & padre pio. Can't have the bracelet its metal) I smelled this perfume odd cause its me & the tech in there only & I know shes not wearing any. sort of smelled like L'air Du Temp it was an old perfume smell i remember & believe grandmom Peditto or Aunt Lana used to wear it? or both? Any cousins with info on this? So i think either one or both of them was in the room w/ me.
The end result from a very long day...clear scans, chemo still for sure but only about 4 months now, depending on my health, radiation for 4 weeks, 5 days a week. all of this is less then was originally thought. & of course could change at any moment. But if all goes well reconstruction & ovaries out in August of 2012 instead of March 2013.....Finger crossed & keep the prayers comin. Love you all.
Next appointment Aug. 1, Dr.Sacks (plastics - last expansion), Aug. 2nd Medical oncology in NJ. To find out was the treatment will be.
xoxo

Me with my CQ-& Florence Nightingale (Stephanie)

Yucky red drink

Delayed results from July 13th......(

2011-07-17T17:46:00.000-04:00

Sorry I never updated the results from my July 13th visit. After getting home on that Wednesday I sort of hit a wall, a very large brick wall ( & that's how my boob feels too).
I decided I needed a little R&R at the beach, add in a little vitamin D, sand, drunken family, crabs, dairy bar, laughter & a BF ( Michele's, Chris) from Colorado who was stylin & profilin & I am good as new. Mentally for the time being anyway.
Any hoo, got to Hopkins at 1:00, go in to the breast center (they're starting to know me in there), I see Laura the nurse Practitioner, things look good, but nope still don't think I'm removing that drain....too much fluid. Ugh, your kidding me? So Dr. Sacks is there that day, she's going to have him come in & check me out. He comes in....." WOW look at that, I do nice work!" He is so excited about how my boob looks. But yup still too much fluid, drain stays, but Laura can expand me a little. This will take up some of the room & help alleviate the fluid. fingers crossed, come back on the 20th next Wednesday & it should able to come out. So they inflate it with another 50 cc. Nice its almost the same size as the other one? ( Sorry brothers if this is TMI?)
Next appointment all the way across the other side of the building......Radiology & Medical Oncology.
Radiology is running behind, so Dr. Prowell comes in first she is Medical Oncology. She reminds me of Tinkerbell with lots of cleavage. She's young but very smart. Has no idea I don't know my Pathology results & starts going over them......"So 8 of the 12 of your lymph nodes they removed were cancerous, & your tumor was 2 cm, OK the cells under the nipple are good.." Whoa what 8 were positive? oh you don't have these yet. UMM NO!
Ok so treatment will be about the same, but for about 6 months, your a stage 3 now. And we'll need a pet scan, & bone scan. Because of the # of nodes. We want to make sure that there are no more tumors or Cancer anywhere else in the body, before you start treatment. WTF. ( Yup its my new mantra) But usually I say the actual words, not the acronym.
Oh it says here your taking Yaz birth control? That's wrong, right? You stopped that? Um nope still taking it. WHAT? that should have been the 1st thing you did! Your cancer is estrogen receptive! You can not take any kind of hormone or birth control.
Yes first thing I threw out when I got home.
Dr. T calls me he doesn't realize I'm at Hopkins & Is calling me about my Path reports. So Tatiana ( Dr. Prowels first name) Calls him back. "Ted, Hi its Tatiana" ( watch it Tink Sandi Tallon is gonna get mad, she hears that flirting w/ dr. soft voice). Yes I'm w/ Ms. Peditto now going over her reports.

Finally Dr. Chin, & Dr. Zellers come in, same thing...yata yata yata....go over reports , ok so radiation will start a few weeks after chemo is done, for 4months.

So here's where I'm at.... Wed. 7-20, 1:00 Laura again, drain out? I hope. Expand me a little more.
Before that not sure what time, Pet scan then bone scan, 3:00 Dr. Prowell again, she should have the results of those 2 tests, then a definite treatment plan?
That may start in August....And about March radiation will begin.....then the following March after all healed up, skin is back to normal reconstruction & other boob is taken, & ovaries are removed.
So if all goes as planned it will all be over in & healed in April 2013.
And i am heading on a vacation somewhere, Maybe Seattle. My future sis in law Andrea always talks about what an amazing trip we could take. So maybe we'll do it? & I have family out there? Hummm
Oh almost forgot to talk about the pain from the expansion, as if its not bad enough that my boob is that brick wall I was telling you about, getting expanded hurts like an MF'er. let alone that the drain is still in, so it moved had to re-heal & stretch out the skin..... Lovely. Tylenol 3, hydracodone, & a Valium later I was fine.
Until next week. Unless something good happens in between.
xoxo

Editors needed

2011-07-11T18:48:00.000-04:00

I now understand why it is so hard to get published you need to have all the correct facts. Spelling and grammar are very important, and a good editor is huge.
I believe this is as close as I will ever get to being a published writer and I'm OK with that.
So I need to edit myself......On my previous post I told you about a poem that was sent to me. Now I assumed ( we all know what happens when you assume?, ass, u, me?) it was from Megan who works for us. I even text her the day I got it & said omg, i am crying its the nicest thing anyone could have ever written about me. & was a bit curious when she never responded.
Now I did question whether it was from her or a very old dear friend, Meg D. whom i knew from the 6th grade was one of my closest and dearest friends, same time I was friends with Debi. We were the 4 musketeers basically, Me, Jessica, Meg & Debi.
But i lost touch with Meg about a year after I got married she was in my first wedding ( sorry for the dresses)
But as we know people drift apart.
When I read it though it did seem like something her very creative brain could have written, But no return address or last name. Similar handwriting as to what I remember from 25 years ago too.
I was on my way home just now and Megs from the store text me & said while she was very touched by what i wrote about her she could not take credit for something she did not write. ( Always the Honorable one). I still meant everything I said about my Megs too.
And that's when It hit me OMG! It was my old Meg??? So Meg DV. I am so sorry i gave credit to the wrong person. I am even more touched by you having written that, because it has been so long since we've been in touch. Thank You so much. I really do love it and still cry when I read it.
Miss You my friend.
xoxo

A poem about me .......July 8th

2011-07-09T16:58:00.001-04:00

I just wanted to share something with everyone that I received the other day. It is from Megan she works at the store for us, we found her back in November, by chance when we had just put up a part time help wanted sign, she came in with her mom BonBon filled out an application I had her come back to interview & felt like I was looking at myself at 19 years old. Aside from the fact that she is a redhead with blue eyes one of the only Irish girls in Hammonton. But her personality is amazing. If I asked in the ad for a reliable, experienced, nice, customer service oriented, funny, & an amazing person in general Megan would be it. Little did know she could write as well. She sent me a card and this is what she wrote......
This is what I know about Toni........
You are strong, But pretty, elegant and feminine.
You are bright,with one of the biggest smiles I've ever seen when you laugh.
and your laugh is loud and large like your love for life
You're fun and bring adventure and fearlessness into any room.
Your unexpected-a big personality in a tiny package.
Your self-esteem makes us jealous, and your self -confidence soars.
you kick butt and don't take crap, but with integrity and grace.
You never stop at "no" you see a goal and don't stop until its reached .
You lead your life to take you where you want to go.
Anyone who knows you even as little as I do, has no doubt about your strength.
All these thing are why i know you will persevere.....theres not a fraction of doubt in my mind.- Megan
OK I'm crying again as I write it for you all to read.
Thank You Megs, You truly are a godsend. love you.

xoxo

Post Op.........July 7th

2011-07-08T16:25:00.000-04:00

Yesterday started out pretty good, woke up about 9. Paul & Joe decided to go on a speed fishing trip. My Dr's appointments were at 1:20, & 2:30. It was 9:30 if they left then & got back by 12:00 they would have
2 1/2 hours to catch striper. At 5 till noon Joe texts they are on they're way back. Caught the limit & headed in.
We head to the hospital for the appointment's, they are running behind. That happens, but I'm tired I really just want to sleep.
Mom decided she wanted to bring pizelles to all the Dr's & Nurses who have helped me. (food over compensation) So while waiting we go in & see Mary Capano the nurse navigator who got me my first appointment. She is thrilled, we tell her to share with the rest of the staff.
I'm called in and see Dr.T ( Dr. soothing voice) first, he is really nice he hugs me, shakes mom & Joe's hands thanks her for the cookies, We tell him he has his own batch. "Oh man I don't need anymore do you see this roll already?" but thank you & he takes them anyway.
Then he proceeds to tell me what he did & what he knows so far...........
So he removed the area behind the nipple to as close as he could get it, to keep the nipple intact. He did the same thing with the area by the tumor, as close to the epidermis as he could get (that's the outer skin), but so as to not harm the outer skin. That will all be tested. If it comes back that, any of those areas are cancerous ( which he knocked on wood, even though it was Formica not wood I'LL TAKE IT) he has had it happen once & they went back in and removed the nipple, that could be my option or he could go in and scrape out more tissue. He knocks again on Formica & said he has NEVER had anyone come back with cancer cells in that area. Now the optimist in me says NEVER is good, The pessimist in me says so far the never say never statement in the beginning went against me as did the 10% chance of having the BRACA1 gene.
So needless to say I am not holding my breath.
Then this is when my day stared to suck! He removed some lymph nodes, I knew he was going to, they said they knew at least 1 was cancerous, he originally thought he'd take about 6. Well he took 12 turns out once he got in there, he found more nodes that looked bad. Awesome!
When i went into this I was thinking maybe some chemo & a little radiation. But now not so much.
He doesn't have the pathology reports back yet, there is nothing to be alarmed about, this is just Hopkins, Its not a bad thing, its because its a teaching hospital, so everyone, & I mean everyone, from the lab to the attending to the fellowships all want to take a look and get the best results possible. He stopped apologising for this a long time ago. So he doesn't have written results meaning he won't commit to the level of cancer I have. I can find that out for sure on Monday.
He looks at my boob, comments on how good it looks & what a great surgeon I must have had. I laugh but all I want to do is cry.
He thanks mom again for the cookies shakes hands, hugs me & sends in his assistant to set up appointments with the radiologist & oncologist.
Now hes gone & I lose it....yup I cry, not sure how I'm supposed to feel this sucks, if i would stop looking at the glass as half full then maybe i would be so disappointed when its not.
Now its the nurse practitioner for the plastic surgeon. Laura. She comes in looks at my boob, everything looks good, the one drain is really slow so she can take it out. Yay, that's one down. she is leaving the other one in it will absorb any excess from the other one too. She isn't filling the expander anymore yet, I have a small area on the bottom of the incision that looks like a bruise or maybe a blister, if she fills the expander it will separate that area from getting more blood flow & she doesn't want that to happen. So come back next week, maybe take out the other drain and fill me up some more.
I'm still optimistic just bummed, I'll get over it I'm sure by the beginning of next week, thought maybe getting out would help, went to walmart for a bit to get new bras bought the wrong size sports bra & jersey shorts comfy things to sit around in. But that only tired me out.
I have my appointment's all set up for next week, Wed. July 13th. exactly 2 months since being diagnosed i will meet with the Nurse practitioner again, the radiologist & the oncologist.
They will be giving me their opinion on my treatment, But treatment will be being done here in NJ, I have a radiologist, but am still looking for an oncologist if anyone has any suggestions I'll take them.
xoxo

Saying The Words CANCER......July 5th

2011-07-05T22:46:00.001-04:00

Its kind of odd as I sit here healing from the breast surgery, I'm watching TV & the Price Is Right is on, the new one with Drew Carey, & a women wins to be the next contestant to come on down & she has a Drew Got Us Though T-shirt on with the breast cancer ribbon on it. He says oh look Its our BC t-shirt she says yup & you helped get me though it. That's when I realized wow that's me too.
I guess because its not a fast moving cancer & I could take my time on making the decision what my next step is. I never really felt like I was that person. But reality is I am. Don't go getting upset reading this I'm still being positive & I know I AM going to beat this. Its just an odd feeling that I am labeled as a person with breast cancer & eventually will be known as a survivor.
To top off everything that is happening to me, on Monday June 27th the day before we leave to go to MD, Joe came home from work that day with out a job! Yes they are restructuring and decided to let 8 people go. Joe being one of them. Yes 2 days before his fiance has breast surgery. I was a bit pissed off at god when he told me, & A good friend Steph D. had said to me a while ago that "god doesn't give you anything you can't handle" She just wished he would start to pick on a different family. I have to agree with that. But then I was reminded of another cliche " everything happens for a reason" & this is true too, If he were still working for PHS he wouldn't be able to be home taking care of me. I can't begin to tell you how awesome he is, I don't know how I could love him anymore then I already did, but I do.
So anyone who knows of a job send it his way.
He's a horticulturist by trade, but decided he could captain a boat & fish all summer too.
Seeing the Doc's on Thursday 7-7. Will let you all know what the next step is.
xoxo

First night in the hospital.........June 29th

2011-07-04T17:31:00.000-04:00

My first night in the hospital was interesting. As to be expected I was out of it, got to the room about 10pm my nurse was Sabrina she was awesome. Aside from the fact that I had no idea that when you leave recovery you don't get anymore pain meds then the pump, until they put you on oral meds. Now that sucked. Yes I was in pain, they just removed a boob for crying out loud. & i WAS! Crying out loud. This was my first hospital stay besides when I had zackary 19 years ago.
Now I understand why people say you don't get to sleep or relax in the hospital. They really do wake you up every 3 hours.
So first in at about 10:30, Dr. A I can't remember his name it was a really long Italian name he was an associate of Dr.Tsangaris, but I nick named him Dr. Mchottie! Joe went down to the family lounge to get a bottled water (in the Marburg area they give you free, Fuji, Perrier, juices etc. ) So Joe was loading up. He came back in just as Dr. Mchottie was leaving. But i did tell him I was sorry but that Dr. was soooo hot & I needed to tell someone.
I finally get to sleep & they came in to take blood? really 3am You need to do this? 5am I wake up, to the next set of associates doing rounds. Now its Dr. Sacks associates. Dr Fine....oh & he was!
Everyone of course needs to check out the boob. I get to see it for the first time, & WOW its still me, I can not believe how good it looks. They kept my nipple and have filled it only with 22cc of fluid so far, but it will keep getting filled when I go back for my post op visits.
I wake up at 7:30 am now and feel pretty good still, I call Jessica because I know she has driven my mom crazy & just really wants to hear my voice that I am OK, even though mom has said I was fine, she is always the Attorney & wouldn't believe it until she hears it herself. I do great, get up out of bed to use the bathroom myself & everything.
Then theres a knock on the door, Hi its room service, yes room service, she comes in & takes my order. Now I only get clear liquids but she did give me some pretty good options.
Now the rough part begins, about 8 am my IV starts to beep, and I'm in A LOT of pain! When I fell asleep I wasn't pushing the pain mends button in time so my pain caught up to me. Now I'm crying & choking in comes my new nurse Candy (striper). First she starts by trying to sit me up by my right arm. Ah hello I had surgery on my right side. Then I get in the bathroom & she needs to take a call she'll be back for me in 5 minutes. Oh no I am not sitting on the toilet for 5 mins. So in comes an intern she goes to help me up by the right side too. I say WTF! Mind you there's a sign over my bed that says NO right side procedures.
Finally I get in a seated position and mom helps me sip my veggie broth with a straw.
Now they start to give me pain pills orally ahhhhh relief.
There was another small incident where we realized that my IV was no longer in correctly so when I was given Valium intravenously it felt like my hand was on fire! It was supposedly because I had small veins. Ah yea then I get an IV of pain meds, this too feels like my hand is on fire.
Not good, I am not happy, they decide to keep me for an extra day, because the pain is not under control.
I start to feel better & decide to take a walk & I get to sit out on the veranda. YAY.....I'm outside.
Ahh fresh air.
As it turns out in the middle of the night again I'm woken up, its a new nurse Amalia, she starts to flush out my IV to give me meds I tell her it hurts & I feel it. She looks & says its not in correct anymore. So she called to have my IV changed out. Then they give me the meds after its changed & I feel nothing. Oh Thank you no more pain!!!!
I'm sent home later that day. With parting gifts, A TY teddy bear, slipper socks the good kind, a pink JHH travel mug, Belgium chocolates, shell gas cards & a parking voucher (it was more like a hotel stay) I asked if they could hold my room for my return next year?? ...not a great ride home 3 hours in the car after surgery not a good idea.
But I am home now its been 5 days since surgery & I feel really good.
July 7th are all my Post Op appointments. I'll have the Pathology reports back & they'll let me know what the next step is.
Thanks again for all the prayers, thoughts , texts & messages they mean so much.
xoxo
Dr,Tsangaris OR Dr. comfort voice

Dr.Fine & he is

Me on the Veranda with the special robe they give you.

Room with a view

Dr. Sacks the boob man

Pre & Post Surgery.........June 29th

2011-07-03T22:44:00.000-04:00

Lets play catch up..... We know I have the BRACA1 gene, I've decided to have a Bi-Lateral Mastectomy & eventually will have the ovaries removed.
I spoke with a few different women to get an idea of what to expect. Taking into consideration that everyones situation is different & everyones pain tolerance is different.
Here is what I had done.....On the 29th they took the right breast only, why? because they only take the breast that has the tumor first, put in an expander to start to shape the breast while I undergo the rest of my treatments. It best to use my skin and my fat to keep it from becoming messed up during radiation especially.
After I get done all treatments approximately 1 year from now, I will have reconstruction and have the other breast removed and reconstructed as well. Depending on my level of fat on the tummy or the butt after all is said & done will depend on where they take it from or if they add implants too.
I head into the pre-op prep area & they start to get me ready.
After about 1/2 hour they let the family come back, Joe, Mom, Paul & Stephanie are all there.
Dr.Tsangaris(dr.soothing voice) comes in first, he has a question am I doing the nipple sparing? What, that's an option? Yes because my tumor is so high up on my chest he can save my nipple and I will not have to have a nipple re-build or a tattoo to get the nipple back! Ye haw, damn Skippy I want you to keep my nipple.
Then he signs my boob. This is so they remove the correct one.
Next Dr. Sacks comes in, we talk about what he will be doing then we talk about what approximate size he will be making me. We debate again on the B - C cup.
He signs my boob too. Then tells the family that when they see him, my surgery is done & I am in recovery.
Surgery is about 4 hours took a bit longer because they saved my nipple.
I'm in recovery for longer then normal, I didn't handle the anesthesia to well & kept getting sick. Even got sick when Paul was in there typing up the blog update & my brother wiped vomit from my chin. (just like he used to do when I was 18). Only it was for a different reason. :)
They finally tell me they are moving me to a room, my nurse Michelle comes in & says they're bringing you to the Marburg Pavilion. That's the hospital suite rooms. I have no idea what she is talking about.
An orderly is wheeling me out & says wow the Marburg Pavilion, nice they're Fancy shmancy. That's were they put all the Kings,sheik's,princesses etc. So i say Yup that's me I'm Princess of Monaco, the Family. ( Grandmom Peditto's Maiden name). He just thinks I'm high & has no idea what I'm talking about.
More to come & more about my stay tomorrow.
xoxo

Paul Sleeping while I'm in surgery

Name Plate on my room

The room Joe could stay cause it was private

The family waiting for me to come up on the veranda outside my room

Crabs, Gravy, Striper, Pizzelles & Padre Pio........June 28th

2011-07-03T12:57:00.000-04:00

Still updating backwards, I keep having to take breaks these pills are knocking me out.
On the Saturday before surgery I headed to the shore to find out that Joe decided to make me one of my most favorite meals, Crabs & Macaroni. ( If you've never had it you need to!). What a fun night, His sister Michele is in town from Colorado, Brother Chuck came down with Marco, Joe's cousins Rob & Steph came with their kids Mia & Antonio. There was so much food, Chuck made one of my favorite appetizers Tapenade ( eggplant pepper tomato & onion mixture) you eat it on crusty Italian bread. Yum! We had lots of wine lots of food & lots of laughs, oh & the kids decided that the living room was going to become romp a room. When the adults are drunk why not. I attached a picture of one of the crabs they were huge!
Then on Tuesday Paul & his buddy Charlie took me, Mom & Joe fishing( its my last fishing trip for a long while). I caught the 1st fish, my line was in the water for 15 seconds. ( no Lie). It was such a great day on the bay, we caught 10 fish (that's the limit) in less then 2 hours. Charlie & I decided it was because he had his lucky Hawk Talon with him. Then Charlie gave me the Hawk Talon to take with me for my surgery for added luck. It was in the hospital with us, but unfortunately because of sanitary reason it didn't come into the operating room with me.
Then mom pulls out this card on our way down its of Padre Pio's hand with the stigmata on it. A player of hers who had a brain tumor 10 years ago, went to the Padre Pio shrine in PA, where they let you touch his Shaw & other relics that he wore. They gave him this card & it has a piece of the cloth on the back the card is laminated & has a saying in Italian ( i don't know what it says, need to look that up). The man told my mom when he went in for his brain surgery he had them tape it to his pillow. He wanted me to do the same thing.
So while I was waiting for them to take me in I had it in my hand, in comes the anesthesiologist Dr. Lee he was very funny, he sort of looked like uncle Benny from the lethal weapon movies, & i think he dips into the happy juice a little himself (That's what he called it). He asked whens the last time you've eaten anything I say about 9:00 last night, oh you must be hungry? He sees me holding the card & says whats that, I tell him its my Padre Pio card, can I bring it in to surgery with me? Dr. Lee said he will definitely put it somewhere. Turns out he taped it to my forearm, I Truly believe having The Padre with me was a good thing.
And lastly does anyone have the answer for Pizzelles protocol? Whom would you say you would give a tray of pizzelles cookies to after you've had surgery?
Apparently that seemed to be the big debate while I was under. You see my mom made pizzelles to give to the nurses who were going to take care of me, ( as I've said before mom copes by cooking). So after the cookies have traveled from NJ to MD, brought into the hospital, put back in the car the back in the hospital again then ended up at the nurses station where my room was.
More to come in a bit. I'm sleepy & the pills are kicking in again.
xoxo

Giant Crab in gravy

Padre Pio

10 Striper fish

Pizzelles before surgery

Bye Bye Bubbie Send off....June 27th

2011-07-02T19:10:00.003-04:00

I know this post is going backwards in time, but i never got to tell you all about what the amazing people around me did for me before I went for my surgery.
I have this great group of friends from Hammonton, they are all new friends but I feel like I have known them forever.
Colleen who calls me sidekick ( even though she is 5'11''long black hair, & I'm 5'3''with short black hair) decided that when I was going to be in surgery she wanted everyone to wear Pink, and then decided she wanted to have my friends from town celebrate with me, she & Megan (Megan works at the store) went & decorated the window in all pink, had everyone bring things to eat that were all shades of pink & colleen even baked cupcakes that had pink icing on them ( she doesn't bake). Her husband Anthony wore a pink fuzzy hat & her 2 boys Little Ant & Moe had pink shirts on them with the Breast Cancer ribbon. I can not tell you how touched i was.
Thank You Colleen, Anthony, Little Ant, Moe, Megan, Mom, Linda, Jeanine, Debbie, Gina, Gabe, Lisa Jo, Joanne, Karlee, Susie,Dawn & Kerry. They gave me these cool pink boxing gloves that say fight like a girl. I'll attach pictures at the bottom. I know this is not the most coherent writing but I just took a pill, & I'm trying to catch up on my writing.

Also pictures of my Niece & Nephew Kati & Nick what they did on the surgery day. Yes nick painted his finger nails pink.
xoxo

Round 1 - the fight begins.

2011-06-29T18:24:00.000-04:00

This is Paul (Tonilyn's older brother). She gave me permission to update everyone -- and it's all good news!!

She's laying on the bed in front of me enjoying a nice little buzz and recovering perfectly. Both surgeons (the 'cute' breast doc with the low voice) and the plastic surgeon dude said everything went really well. Pic below is with her nurse Michelle. This is less than four hours after surgery . . . amazing!

We're taking turns visiting (Joe first then Mom hogging everyone else's time). She's now awaiting her move to the VIP digs at JHH (leave it to my Sis to pull the 5-star room after surgery). No crabs or rockfish tonight but she seems happy right now and is really just amazing me with her strength, concern for everyone else and her absolutely hysterical response to my asking for a picture and her bad hair moment. Gotta love a Jersey Girl . . . worrying about her looks no matter the situation.

All for now, she's getting ready to move in a minute and they need me to take the laptop off of her legs/computer stand :)

She says "HIGH" to everyone and thanks all of you for the kind words, thoughts and prayers.

The battle has begun . . . a decisive Round 1 goes to TL, the baddest chick to ever battle this disease - victory and full recovery await!

The Date is set..... June 13th

2011-06-13T20:55:00.000-04:00

I have a date, not a wedding date but a surgery date.....June 29th.
Just cause i have nothing else to write about I'll fill everyone in on my weekend.

Every year (except last year) for the past 4 years i help my friend Lisa at the golf US Open. Its always interesting, this year was no exception. The year it was at Bethpage it was a torrential rain storm. This year it is at Congressional in Bethesda MD, the first 3 days it was 110 degrees. The fun part was the walk from the parking lot to the merchandise tent it was a about 400 yards which is the length of a par 4. No i didn't figure this out another person did & told me. Needless to say, my fun before surgery turned out to be a work out. Getting my butt in shape so that the fat is really firm for my new boobs. It was still fun, we always have fun, & the people oh boy what a variety?
We went to Georgetown for fun one night, I attached a picture of the line for DC Cupcakes, it was about a 2 hour wait? They may be good but no way would I ever wait for that long for something that is done in 2 bites. Here is a really weird coincidence I have always wanted to visit Georgetown because of the movie St.Elmo's Fire, I had seen this many times with an old friend from high school Debi & we always talked about visiting & never did. My point? Debi & I grew apart as many friends do after school, but when I got home from there I had a card waiting for me from her, she had heard about my diagnosis & wanted to let me know she was thinking of me. We haven't seen or spoken for maybe 20 years, It was such a nice surprise & i was so touched. That is the coincidence. How weird i just finally got to Georgetown saw St. Elmo's fire ave, & got a card from the person i had always talked about going there with.
Anyway I came home & on Monday went to work another event for her at Fiddlers Elbow it was for the USO.
A huge tournament for a great cause, there were soldiers there too, & they brought a tank! Joe loves that kind of stuff & his dad Joe Sr. is a retired Army Colonel so I asked if I could take a picture of it for them & they asked if I wanted to get in it & they'd take my picture in it for them! Damn Skippy I did. I attached the photos of my weekend.
I will update everyone in a few weeks after my surgery to let you all know how I make out.
Thanks again for reading, prayers & messages it all means so much.

xoxo

DC Cupcakes Line down the block

Thats me in the top of the Tank!

Mutant Gene June 8th

2011-06-08T19:05:00.000-04:00

When they said they could maybe have my results back for the genetic testing in a week, They were correct. They called me today, and if I were a betting girl (which I am) I would have gone with the odds on this one. Remember in my June 2 post there was only a 10% chance I would have the mutant gene? Well I am in that 10%, yes I have the mutated gene! Go ahead get the alien jokes out of the way. brief background for those of you whom don't know but my dear brothers called me Martian when I was little because of the olive skin. I hated it then not so much now.:)
So my decision was made for me, its going to be a bi-lateral mastectomy. Just need to get the surgery appointment & go from there. Here is the best part, after all is said & done, i need to talk to the genetics people again because.....wait for it.........i have a 40-60% chance of getting ovarian cancer. Now all of us women & maybe some of the men who are following this know, but the is no way of detecting ovarian cancer unless you get an ultra sound, so they feel they should remove my ovaries too. That will be another time down the road, not sure when but seems to be inevitable.
Anyway that is the crappy news for the day. Looks like I will have a new set of T2000's for next summer.
On another note, to all my family member's reading this, cousins, male & female, mom, sister, brothers, nieces, nephews etc....... It seem there is a good amount of cancer on both sides of my family so please please please, check your selves every month and as one of my commented readers said don't be a boob get a mammogram! Thanks Marilyn for the bracelet.
Even you male family members please follow up on all those men tests. I get it they aren't fun but they are there to save your lives.
Thanks for all the comments too, i love, love, love getting them.
Will let you all know when the surgery date is.
xoxo

Genetic Testing & Kati's Prom June 2, 2011

2011-06-02T22:50:00.000-04:00

Sorry I haven't written in a few days, but there hasn't been anything to write. Except it was my Birthday May 31st. What'd I get for my 44th Birthday? Cancer. ( Ok bad joke). sorry :)
I finally went today for the genetic testing. Here's how it works....
I was given a stack of papers to fill out about a week ago, & I needed to give a family history as much information as I could provide. (moms, side who has had cancer,going as far back as my grandparents & their siblings, birth date's etc, dads side same thing) so imagine how much fun that was with both sides of grandmothers having 11 siblings each. These are the papers I had sent Joe to the Jesus statue to drop off.
Getting into Baltimore was a treat Mom has a new GPS who's voice is of a man named Richard, well DICK decided he wanted me to take all kinds of detours, typical man thought he knew the better route! Ahh not so much, it took us forever to get there & I was in a foul mood after that.
Got in a better mood once we got in the Weinberg building (that's where the testing is done & chemotherapy treatments are given) seeing what I saw, made the drive not seem so bad after all.
Back to the test, They test the BRCA1 & BRCA2 gene. the cells are split in both apparently they assume everyone starts off with both these genes working. But some can be born with one portion of one of the cells x'd out. The assumption is that if one gene is x'd out you have a 50-85% chance of getting breast cancer, if you already have breast cancer & the test comes back as having the mutated gene(that's what they called it), you have a 40-60% chance of getting breast cancer for a 2nd time, & a 10-45% chance of getting ovarian cancer. Now for men who have this gene it could be breast cancer or prostate cancer. This genetic test is specific for breast cancer.
The test is not always covered under insurance, but they will call before they process the test if not to see if I would like to pay for it out of pocket????
I will not have the results back for about 2-3 weeks, but maybe sooner since I have good insurance & they want me to schedule the surgery. But since my final decision is partially based on the results I have to wait.
Oh & the % I could have the mutated gene in only 10%? Hope you all understood that, I'm still trying to figure it out?
So they took a tube of blood today & we wait.
Now the good part of my day....Today was Kati's prom. We went for Mani's & Pedi's, I did her hair & make up.(just like I used to do for Laura). She looked beautiful, (if i do say so myself, but she would have w/out the hair or make up) But judge for yourself I attached photos.
I will let you all know my results & my decision soon.
Thanks again for all the prayers & well wishes.
xoxo Kati & Mike

Shoe shopping May 27th

2011-05-27T22:07:00.001-04:00

Decided to take the Pope's advice and go shoe shopping. Those of you who think that my cousin Laura really spoke to the Pope & his advice was to go shoe shopping really need to get to church a bit more often. (& you know who you are, so I won't name names).
Lisa & I spend the day chilling, my first one since I got the news. We head to DSW, and while shopping I got a call from Dr. Zellers The radiologist. The biopsy they did on the second lump on Thursday came back BENIGN! Yay some really good news, he called me at 6:45pm, wanted me to have the news before the start of the weekend so i did not have to wait & worry anymore. I love that man.
Looks like the Popes advice worked, so far all I bought was 1 pair of shoes & 1 lump is benign, wonder what would happen if I bought a whole bunch?????

Enjoy your weekend, I know I will.
xoxo

Bionic Boobs May 26th

2011-05-26T20:11:00.005-04:00

Me being wheeled out (lovely)

Another test.....Today they did another MRI, this time it was a MRI Guided biopsy (bbibobibobsy).

What does that mean? It means Big MRI machine, me face down on the table with my boobs in these cups, dangling so that the MRI can scan and see what the Mammogram and the ultra sound can not. Why? Well it seems that the last MRI picked up 2 more lumps behind the large lump but they can not get a clear view on another x ray to biopsy them to see if they are cancerous. Turns out only one of the two is important the other just like a small friend tagging along and they wouldn't be able to get enough cells from anyway.

Here's how it goes.....Arrive 7:30am registration, take a number. (mom says get turkey & cheese when they call you) all the sudden she wants to be a comedian. Same paperwork same questions.

Ms. Petittto ( yea no one seems to get the name right) Let me help you Ped -eat-toe.

Good thing I don't have my full name on the papers Tonilyn ( that's usually Tonellyn?)

Where was I?.....Oh yea the process.

Here's the changing room, one gown on in the front and one gown on in the back. and don't forget the cool grippy socks ( this time I took brown instead of blue)

Wait here, Stephanie gets thrown out because as always I bring an Entourage, and she pretends to go the back way down to her office only to come back up 10 minutes later.

Nurse comes to put in an IV they need to put the dye in again to pin point where the lump that has not been biopsied is.

Oh nothing to eat or drink that day yet either. ( so empty stomach)

Back to the waiting room...Dr. Sharp shes a Fellow(ship)- comes in to explain the procedure. Once they find the lump take the cells they need they will put in another clip to identify it for future use if needed. (Stephanie said I'm like a Pandora charm bracelet i have different charms now in my boobs)

Then they give me the happy pill Xanax because they need me almost out for this i can not move or it will mess the whole thing up.

Cool I'm tired anyway.

They take me in lay flat on my stomach, put the boobs in the cups, and then they say we need to grip the right one so it doesn't move tell us when it becomes to much? Yea OK its too much!

Its freezing in there, they add blankets to me to keep me warm, I get put into the machine they start the scan i think I fall a sleep cause i don't remember that. Now the good part.

Pull me out of the machine & from the graph that shows on the screen where the lump is they numb the outer area, that I feel the bee sting thing again. Then they go in with the biopsy needle now i feel that ( sorry for those of you with weak stomachs) but it feels like someone is digging around inside the center of my breast with a NEEDLE!

Now I'm awake, i feel light headed, They are talking to me the whole time, and i say I'm going to pass out, Nurse- Dr. stop shes said she passing out. Me- I'm going to get sick. They put a bowl under my face, I'm still facing down on the table and the boob is still in the grip. So i can't really move. I only dry heave because I haven't eaten (guess that's why they say don't' eat).

Break out into cold sweats now they have removed all covers and have ice packs all over me.

The Dr. comes over and says we are going to just put the clip in & have them do it by ultra sound another time.

I start to come around & am feeling better, I say no finish it now I do not want to come back for more tests.

So they do. Reason it hurt so bad my boobs are so dense that I bent the needle! First time they have ever seen that happen. Jamie Sommers ain't got nothing on me.:)

Oh Joe wasn't there for most of this because he needed to take my papers to meet the women from the BOSS clinic & got to see the big Jesus statue in the old part of the hospital. I'll post a photo soon.

Next test- Thursday June 2nd- 8am- meet w/melanoma Oncologist, 10:30AM to the BOSS Clinic(breast & ovarian Surveillance Service) for Genetic testing.

xoxo

Pictures & Editor corrections

2011-05-26T19:37:00.010-04:00

The Vatican

Me & Stephanie in Mamo Area she is very uncomfortable that we are touching

Mary Capano Nurse Navigator

Ribbon Mural

I am re-attaching the pictures, Joe told me they are way to small & no one can appreciate the one of the Vatican.

Also I was told I had an error in writing that I said I will be having radiology instead of radiation? ( Jessica did you not read the disclaimer in the beginning no judging on the spelling or grammar?)

When I said I was going to ask for a vote on whether or not i should go new boobs & tummy tuck, I want you all to know that was a joke & never meant to offend anyone.( Joe's sense of humor must be rubbing off after 7 years. Do you really think I am going to let all of you make that decision for me????? Its not a vote for the next American idol. I mean I love you all, but really :)

and lastly when I said that Father Frank sent a message to St. Jude, I was completely in correct he happens to be in Rome & went to St. Jude's grave to pray. Yup that's huge!

XOXO

Prayers

2011-05-25T11:12:00.006-04:00

I want to Thank everyone for all the prayers that are being sent. It truly means a lot. My friend Jessica wants to start a map of the country as it seems they are coming from all over the world.

Let see it started with mom who sent her request to St. Jude Shrine. This was before we knew that Gina told Gabe to contact his brother Father Frank who is a big shot with St. Jude shrine.

Then my friend Stephanie D. Joe's cousin Rob's wife, has a real connection with Padre Pio, she sent me some very uplifting words and info on him.

Jessica had her cousin Scott ( who's Jewish) going into a church in Amsterdam!

Jessica also has her sister-in-law who lives in N.C. contact her friend who contacted a big time prayer group who put me on their prayer chain.

Joe works with an amazing, person & one of the most caring people i have ever met Joe S, who went down to the Pink Nuns (They pray for women w/ breast cancer) in Philly to have them Pray from me. Sniff.....

My mom has a friend who lives in Warren County NJ & is very close to the Archbishop who has now added me to the peps to pray for at Sunday mass

This morning my Cousin Laura sent me a picture of the Vatican and said she spoke to the Pope? Now apparently the Popes answer was that I needed to buy Lots of shoes & that would help, she said she wasn't going to argue with him after all he is The Pope!

I know i have lots more prayers out there from everyone & really really appreciate all of them.

I am attaching some photos as well. One is Mary Capano (my angel), One is the ribbon mural in The Avon breast center. & The other is the Vatican, cause its cool.

xoxo

To keep you all up to date on appointments, We leave tonight to go back down to the MD Peditto's & I will have a MRI guided biopsy in the AM. As soon as I know something I will let you all know.

Oh & lastly some of you are having a hard time leaving comments, its should work now, I changed some settings & noticed you can leave it under anonymous that should work. If not email mail & I'll post it for you.

Monday May 23rd, Meet the Surgeonsssss

2011-05-23T21:36:00.003-04:00

Arrive at Hopkins 1:oo appt. is 2:00pm. Check in, answer a questionnaire, & in 15 minutes they take us back, Its me, Mom, & Stephanie, Joe's going to wait a bit, he's hungry and going to eat something.
They weigh me, take my blood pressure and go to take my temperature,(I have a piece of gum in my mouth & take it out to hand to my mom but Steph says here, lucky mom See's its my gum & says NO Stephanie its her gum.) That would have been really bad for her. Here we are again laughing, Then the nurse says when he's done eating do you want me to bring your dad back too!OMG, no that's my fiancee, I do not look that young & he surely does not look that old. But to us we crack up & now they can't get us in the room fast enough.

Meet The Doctors.
First- Joni she is a resident, she asks all the same questions, did you find the lump, asks about my health, family history, do you mind if I take a look. Nope go right a head, they've all seen them.
Second- Dr.Tsingaris (the surgeon) comes in, he brings, Lilly(she is a 20 year survivor) & works for the breast center also wrote 2 books she gave me to read.) a student volunteer, (young kid felt bad for her I think she saw way more then she wanted. & Joni again.
So there are 8 of us in this tiny room.
Dr.T asks these same questions, but tells me my options. Long story short- He feels i do not need a mastectomy, they will do another MRI on Thursday, this is more of a surgery biopsy to take cells from the 2 lumps behind the big one they can't see them any other way but through MRI. His feeling no mastectomy at this time He thinks I have nice boobs, I say if i want it is it my choice, he say yes at the end of the day it is. But i have time to think on that.
I was inundated with info from him, but the bottom line is I have 1 lump that's definitely cancer but its small & 1 lymp node that is also cancer, the cancer is estrogen receptive which is apparently good they all kind of cheered when they heard that. and stage 2. Once they get the results from the MRI on Thursday and go in to remove more they will know more.
OK breath,
Lilly now gives a presentation on a double mastectomy with Reconstruction, ( we see her boobs) joe has to leave for this. and she explains alot, plus the books and more information to read. She was sooo nice,
Dr. #3- Dr. Adams Resident radiologist, Asks all the same questions, again.
Only funny part was he said alcohol- i said yes. What was that the wrong answer?
The he does an exam as well. Oh i should note the room only has 3 chairs moms, in one Joe's in one & the Dr's all sit in one so Steph gets to stand next to me and she can see my lovely boobs every time they remove the gown. Lucky her:).
Dr.#4- Dr. Zellers Adam's boss, They are radiology oncologist, they explain the options of mastectomy over lumpectomy with radiology etc.... again its a lot to take in. but either way i will have radiology & chemo due to the fact that it is in the nodes. its just the boob removal that's up in the air.
Dr.#5- Dr.Sack Plastic surgeon, & Laura his RN- again the questions, again he gets to cop a feel. But he has a different reason, here's the cool part, I can have new boobs by taking the fat from belly and placing into the breast being re-constructed and if we save the one he can fix it to look symmetrical. so now what to do? Boob job and tummy tuck all in one shot!
The only down fall is the incision for the tummy flap would go over my lizard tattoo and he would have to decapitate the lizards head. oh well, tummy tuck & new boobs wins.
Next step after MRI is gene testing. If i have the cancer gene both boobs need to go, I do not want to chance this ever coming back again.
So MRI, Gene test then answers. They are saying I have had this lump for about 3-5 years its slow mover. So i have a little time to figure things out. They say surgery could be in about 3-4 weeks.
Please post your thoughts i wanted to take a poll but Joe got upset with that idea. So just some input on lumpectomy or mastectomy?
Thanks again for all the prays thoughts & texts.
xoxox

Friday May 20th

2011-05-22T21:08:00.004-04:00

Up very early 5:30 am, we have to leave by 6:30 to get there by 7:30.

Same routine.

Ms. Peditto, This time the nurse is Joyce. Again very nice.

Stephanie was in Rochester NY the last 2 days and is flying in that AM comes right to hospital, to be there and again see more strange boobs.

More pictures in the mammogram machine ( we call it the vice grip). Dr.K, Dr. Wu & Joyce all holding on to the boobs trying to get the right angel and good pictures.

Into the ultra sound room I go again. This time they bring in Mom & Stephanie, and they get to stay so they can see the ultra sound.

But when told they can stay, Mom says can we stand up to see? Dr. K -No. Mom well can I at least go..... Me- Mom sit down!

Dr.K leaves tells us some more stuff, The nodes have cancer, the main lump-cancer. They are not sure about the small ones behind the main one but they need to be removed anyway. If your keeping count that's 6 that need to be removed.

Dr.Tsangaris ( he's Greek, i hope he's not going to use Windex to fix this) is going to be my Surgeon. He is the chief of Breast surgery. Yup he's the big Guy!

Dr.K is going to insert a clip into the breast where the main lump is. Kim is back in she shows us what the clip looks like, Its in the shape of a breast cancer ribbon. This is so they can find the lump in surgery.

Once that is done back to the vice grip, more pics to see the clip. Dr.K has a plan...he comes behind me lifts both my boobs up & places them flat on the machine while squeezing them together as Joyce clamps down the machine. OUCH! Hold your breath ( what other choice do I have?) That's it that's the one they are looking for. Finally all done.
Well for today.

Monday is meet the surgeon day & find out when another MRI will be and get more answers.
Until Monday May 23rd..........xoxo

Thursday May 19th

2011-05-22T20:46:00.002-04:00

I'm home & of course today is a big event downtown and we expected to be very busy at the store. Mom opens at 9 am early and people follow her in at 8:20am.
She doesn't call me because she wants me to sleep in. She's able to handle it. I'm impressed.
At 9"30 Dr.K calls me as he said he would. He has the results of the biopsy of the main lump. Yup its cancer. He asks can you come in today? Huh? I'm in NJ, OH I thought you where staying in town? We did then can home. OK, are you bruised? Ahhh yes, you stuck 5 needles in me 2 days ago and took some flesh. Come in at 8am Friday then, I need more pictures and I'm going to hurt you. Yay, that's awesome.:(

Get to the store at 10:30, its mobbed.
My phone does not stop ringing. Now the MRI nurse calls they see 2 lumps behind the main one. She is going to send the results to Dr.k so he has them for Friday.
That day I got a surprise visit from an amazing person. Who I now consider a friend, ( i was friends with his wife first). Gabe D. Comes in he is a fellow cancer survivor. He is here to tell me all that the Dr.'s won't and just share some insight. Wow, i was confident before that i am going to beat this, but now damn Skippy, I am.
His oldest brother is a priest Father Frank, he happens to be in Rome but has big ties to the
St. Jude shrine in Baltimore, (one of our favorite places) so Gabe emailed Father Frank who apparently emailed back & said he is on it! Now that's calling in a favor.

Mom and I leave that night to go The MD Peditto's which turns out that fits, (Stephanie is a Dr. or works with them & Paul had a MD shirt on for the DNR the other day.)

Wednesday May 18th

2011-05-22T20:34:00.002-04:00

MRI day. 2:00pm Goodie I have most of the day to wait. Paul, cancels his meetings, so does Stephanie. Kati goes into school late. I think that was just an excuse.
We get to Hopkins early and someone got me some happy pills because MRI'S make me claustrophobic. I go in, 2 gowns this time, one in the front and one in the back. (at least I'm covered)and i get the cool socks with the grips on them.
They are going to put in an IV, its a dye that goes to where the blood congregates which apparently is where the lumps are.
I am on my stomach and the boobs are in these padded cups so they are the focus. Its very comfortable, so I fall a sleep. About 45 minutes later its over.
Get dressed, drive home. Joe drives home, I sleep in the back cause the pills are still working.

Tuesday Evening May 17th

2011-05-22T20:16:00.003-04:00

Tuesday I find out its for sure. I have Cancer! It seems strange to say at first, but after the 5th or 6th time its kind of like ordering a coffee. It is was it is.
I call to tell my BFF in Maine Jessica. She has no idea that anything is wrong. Now Jessica and I have been friends since the sixth grade, So thats 32 years give or take if you ask us how old we are.
We have been though weddings, pregnancy, divorce & many many tragedies together.
So when I call her I am trying to hide that I am upset. I call- she answers. Hi...(her tone is exciting to hear from me). I say Hi , she immediately says Whats wrong! She knows, its like we have ESPN ( she has the west coasts feed as well).
I tell her "I have breast Cancer." What NO! that was her reply.
I explain all that I know and feel terrible she is sobbing. But I know her next move is to immediately get online to start research.
I call my son Zackary's dad. He doesn't understand? what how is that possible. Can you please explain it to Zackary and have him call me. He does.
That night my mom is trying to compensate for what she can not control. so she & Stephanie go to Annapolis seafood, and buy out the store (although I found out there where 9 soft shell crabs & she only bought 8?) this was to make sure i ate that night. i did, lobster, broccoli salad, oysters Rockefeller, soft shell crabs! Yum.
I did take some sleeping pills that night so I could shut my mind down.

Tuesday May 17th Results day

2011-05-21T17:44:00.004-04:00

I know its a lot to read but I'm trying to catch up to the current day.

So where am I? Yes that's right, its Tuesday. Results day.

Stephanie warned us while its one of the best hospitals in the country there is going to be a lot of hurry up and waiting.

It wasn't as bad as she made it seem.

We get there, check in...They don't have me in the system, but oh wait they have a Paul Peditto, go figure.

I can't even get sick with out his name being mentioned! just kidding brother. ;0)

Up to the 4th floor I go. The breast center. Joe's excited, what guy wouldn't be he's thinking I'm gonna see lots of breasts. Um yea not so much....No men allowed its an all female area. (sorry honey looks like its really a long wait for you).

Out comes Teresa, Ms. Peditto. We'll take you back now.

Poor Joe gets up, "Can I come with her?", "No sorry sir its an all female area back there".

Mom can come, ok mom looks like your up.

There's a gown in the drawer, tie it in the front. ( that's a joke, they don't really tie and if your modest get over it quickly cause by the time your done your going to have had may hands on your boobs and lots of people seeing them.

Stephanie comes back too. (because she owns this wing now & can go anywhere she wants) not really on the owning part. Now let me tell you something about my dear sister-in-law, she is not at all a touchy feely person, nor does she like seeing other people private areas. Can you image how well adjusted she must be having become apart of OUR family.

But she is one of the kindest, smartest and most generous people i have ever met. I know exactly why my brother loves her so much.

But now Steph has to sit next to me on the bench seat while my boob is sticking out, and she is touching me(not my boob) just sitting close. So needless to say she is very uncomfortable.

Other women are in there waiting their turn and you sit in these vestibule type areas w/ a curtain, our curtain of course is open, because i need to see & know what is going on w/ everyone else. This is i think the best part- The woman across from us is older her curtain is not shut all the way & Stephanie has a clear eye shot of both her very much in need of a lift breasts! This was priceless.

I finally go back to the ultra sound room. In walks Dr. Wu (female) Very nice, Then Dr. Khouari (male), Kim asst. nurse tech something or other. & Teresa.

Your lying on the table the top of the gown completely open. Dr.k starts the ultra sound, he's good, lots of clicking & talking & understand nothing. Now turn on your side, he's under the arm pit area. My mind says Hum- that's where the lymph nodes are????

Then he says" so what have they told you so far?" I say " that the lump is suspicious, & then they send me a copy of the report & all I understood was malignancy."

Dr.K -OK yes. Me-Yes what? That is true it looks to be cancerous.

YES- the tears start to roll, not bad almost as if my eyes where watering. Then my mind immediately goes to why are you crying? Your going to beat this, & that's only if he's right.

Mind you we still do not have the biopsy yet.

Now for that they all come back in but bring me a surprise. Or as they said we brought someone in you know( I'm like oh shit its someone from family) its not It my Angel Mary. She holds my hand the entire time during the biopsy, Dr.k walks me through everything he is doing. He's an amazing man. I ask him how he knows its cancer w/out having the results back. He's been doing this a very long time & has never been wrong. I say never say never. I like your attitude. (So much for that, he's still not wrong). So to take my mind off the fact that i was getting probed w/ needle that felt like bee stings. I ask him how long has he been doing this. His reply"oh this 2 weeks". Haha

Then i ask who wants to tell the family...we will do that together. Yay......

Joe said he knew something wasn't right when they asked him to come back to "no men allowed area".

Dr.K explained it and lined me up for the next set of test immediately.

Monday May 16th. Happy Birthday MAZ. :)

2011-05-21T17:04:00.005-04:00

Yippee its Monday.
Finally I will get the appointment and have some answers.
Call the Dr.(ob/gyn) at 9:05 am. Leave a message. Call back again and this time I ask to speak to someone. I'm not leaving another message. I finally speak to Kelly? No idea who she is. Yes they got the report and they are going to set up an appointment with a surgeon they use in the Washington Twp. area. She'll call me back.
I ask if "Kelly" can fax me the report.
She says " Sure whats your fax number"
I wait before I leave for the store, I hear the fax printing, go upstairs. and of course our fax prints last page first. So the last line I see is Biraids 5 " Highly suggestive of Malignancy: Appropriate action should be taken immediately.
AWESOME!

No appointments until May 23rd. As you can see this would be a week from today. This is unacceptable. I'm not waiting!
I call my sister-in-law Stephanie. She's in a meeting but answers the phone anyway. (she is a very important Dr. for Johns Hopkins). Not really but it sounds good.
I fax her my report. I am assuming she either makes some calls or takes the report around to an actual Dr.'s to look at.
Turns out they have whats called John Hopkins Avon Foundation Breast Center.
Its all done in one location. Wow...What a concept!
She speaks to a women called a Nurse Navigator, Mary Capano (fellow pison, well her husband is.)
Steph gives me Mary's # and I call her. She knows who I am?
Very long story short, Mary gets my report from Steph and Immediately brings it to Dr. Khaouri, the director of breast imaging and intervention.
By 3:00 that day I had an appointment for biopsy the next day at 1:30.
I'm thinking Mary's my own personal angel.

The weekend. May 14 &15th

2011-05-21T11:49:00.002-04:00

Now I have the good fortune to wait. Wait the entire weekend for an appointment to get the biopsy done. So what do I do I start thinking positively, its just a cyst.
But before I do that, I was supposed to go out that Saturday night with the girls, and decide on Friday that I'm not in the mood. I'm not going to sit around and sulk just not really in the mood to go out and whoop it up. So i text my BF Lisa & say " hey I'm gonna have to bail for tomorrow night, not really in the mood to talk about but will talk to you soon." Yea not a great text to send to someone you talk to everyday.
Needless to say she text me back, I didn't answer. Then she called. Still no answer. So now the house phone.....We'll leave it up to Joe to break the news.
Yup that went well.....NOT!
Sorry friend i know, i know better, never again.
I did go out on Sunday. Lisa and I ran around did some shopping and had one of our favorite lunches. Champs Loaded Chips!
Oh and I sent Joe away, up to hunt camp hang with the boys no thinking about the bubbies till Monday.

The itch?

2011-05-20T21:57:00.000-04:00

So it all began because I had an itch. We had just been fishing with the family for mothers day on that previous Sunday, & I happen to have reeled in the biggest catch of the day ( moms was about 33 1/2 give or take but only 13 lbs. )and my biggest fish ever.

A 33 1/4 in. 15 lb. Striper! So i used every muscle in my upper body to get that baby in the boat.

It was Monday night and I was changing for bed and had an itch. When I scratched the area I thought it felt odd. So having done breast exams on myself many times before I lifted my arm and felt again. Yup I felt something....."Joe come here, do you feel something there?"

"Oh yea feels like a pulled muscle? Probably from reeling in that huge fish yesterday!" "If it doesn't go away tomorrow maybe call the Dr."

So it didn't & so I did. I first call my GP he gave me an appointment for Wednesday am. Then I got in touch with my OB/GYN they got me in on Tuesday afternoon for a quick breast exam.

Went in on Tuesday saw the Nurse practitioner. She feels it! and her theory "oh it feels like a cyst." " Just in case we're going to have it checked out and add an ultra sound for good measure."

Now I'm a bit nervous but not bad. But decide lets set this appointment up before I even leave the parking lot.

Yay they're squeezing me (little did i know they were being literal). Friday at 2:00.

Friday The 13th!!!

I go in and if anyone has ever been its not the most comfortable place to be, lots of women, old, young, all ages and races and no one looking happy. But me?

I was bidding on an item on ebay on my Bberry and thought for sure i was going to win. (yes while waiting for the test)

they take me in and of course the lump i is in to high a place to get an easy picture. So 20 pictures later they take me into the ultra sound. (that's easy). But now they want more pictures, back into the breast grip. Now I have been there for 2 and a half hours.

My mind is saying "hum this is odd" I've seen at least 10 other women come and go.

The nurse" Ms. Peditto, please get dressed and Dr.Murphy would like to see you in his office"

My mind " Hum that doesn't sound good"

He was pretty straight forward, no messing around. " this lump here is the lump you feel, behind it are more calcification's." "these are a concern" You need to have a biopsy immediately." Can't really tell you what else he said at that point it all became a fog.

Oh no I did ask if he was sure it was not an in grown hair? and did he think i had cancer." he could not be definitive, but he was concerned"

Where is the lump? If you put you hand on your heart like saying the pledge of allegiance but on the right breast the lump is at the middle of your fingers.

2011-05-20T21:39:00.000-04:00

Welcome to the bubbies blog. Just a little something to help me communicate to everyone on what is happening to me and what is going to happen. I want you all along for this journey but have realized that repeating myself over and over again is a bit straining.

I am not trying to hide and not talk about it, its not meant to be an insensitive way of communicating but more of way to put my thoughts on paper and keep anyone who wants to know in the loop.

"Life is like a game of cards, the hand that is dealt to you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will." -Jawaharal Nehru