Sunday, May 22, 2011

Tuesday Evening May 17th

Tuesday I find out its for sure. I have Cancer! It seems strange to say at first, but after the 5th or 6th time its kind of like ordering a coffee. It is was it is.
I call to tell my BFF in Maine Jessica. She has no idea that anything is wrong. Now Jessica and I have been friends since the sixth grade, So thats 32 years give or take if you ask us how old we are.
We have been though weddings, pregnancy, divorce & many many tragedies together.
So when I call her I am trying to hide that I am upset. I call- she answers. Hi...(her tone is exciting to hear from me). I say Hi , she immediately says Whats wrong! She knows, its like we have ESPN ( she has the west coasts feed as well).
I tell her "I have breast Cancer." What NO! that was her reply.
I explain all that I know and feel terrible she is sobbing. But I know her next move is to immediately get online to start research.
I call my son Zackary's dad. He doesn't understand? what how is that possible. Can you please explain it to Zackary and have him call me. He does.
That night my mom is trying to compensate for what she can not control. so she & Stephanie go to Annapolis seafood, and buy out the store (although I found out there where 9 soft shell crabs & she only bought 8?) this was to make sure i ate that night. i did, lobster, broccoli salad, oysters Rockefeller, soft shell crabs! Yum.
I did take some sleeping pills that night so I could shut my mind down.

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