Post Op.........July 7th

Yesterday started out pretty good, woke up about 9. Paul & Joe decided to go on a speed fishing trip. My Dr's appointments were at 1:20, & 2:30. It was 9:30 if they left then & got back by 12:00 they would have
2 1/2 hours to catch striper. At 5 till noon Joe texts they are on they're way back. Caught the limit & headed in.
We head to the hospital for the appointment's, they are running behind. That happens, but I'm tired I really just want to sleep.
Mom decided she wanted to bring pizelles to all the Dr's & Nurses who have helped me. (food over compensation) So while waiting we go in & see Mary Capano the nurse navigator who got me my first appointment. She is thrilled, we tell her to share with the rest of the staff.
I'm called in and see Dr.T ( Dr. soothing voice) first, he is really nice he hugs me, shakes mom & Joe's hands thanks her for the cookies, We tell him he has his own batch. "Oh man I don't need anymore do you see this roll already?" but thank you & he takes them anyway.
Then he proceeds to tell me what he did & what he knows so far...........
So he removed the area behind the nipple to as close as he could get it, to keep the nipple intact. He did the same thing with the area by the tumor, as close to the epidermis as he could get (that's the outer skin), but so as to not harm the outer skin. That will all be tested. If it comes back that, any of those areas are cancerous ( which he knocked on wood, even though it was Formica not wood I'LL TAKE IT) he has had it happen once & they went back in and removed the nipple, that could be my option or he could go in and scrape out more tissue. He knocks again on Formica & said he has NEVER had anyone come back with cancer cells in that area. Now the optimist in me says NEVER is good, The pessimist in me says so far the never say never statement in the beginning went against me as did the 10% chance of having the BRACA1 gene.
So needless to say I am not holding my breath.
Then this is when my day stared to suck! He removed some lymph nodes, I knew he was going to, they said they knew at least 1 was cancerous, he originally thought he'd take about 6. Well he took 12 turns out once he got in there, he found more nodes that looked bad. Awesome!
When i went into this I was thinking maybe some chemo & a little radiation. But now not so much.
He doesn't have the pathology reports back yet, there is nothing to be alarmed about, this is just Hopkins, Its not a bad thing, its because its a teaching hospital, so everyone, & I mean everyone, from the lab to the attending to the fellowships all want to take a look and get the best results possible. He stopped apologising for this a long time ago. So he doesn't have written results meaning he won't commit to the level of cancer I have. I can find that out for sure on Monday.
He looks at my boob, comments on how good it looks & what a great surgeon I must have had. I laugh but all I want to do is cry.
He thanks mom again for the cookies shakes hands, hugs me & sends in his assistant to set up appointments with the radiologist & oncologist.
Now hes gone & I lose it....yup I cry, not sure how I'm supposed to feel this sucks, if i would stop looking at the glass as half full then maybe i would be so disappointed when its not.
Now its the nurse practitioner for the plastic surgeon. Laura. She comes in looks at my boob, everything looks good, the one drain is really slow so she can take it out. Yay, that's one down. she is leaving the other one in it will absorb any excess from the other one too. She isn't filling the expander anymore yet, I have a small area on the bottom of the incision that looks like a bruise or maybe a blister, if she fills the expander it will separate that area from getting more blood flow & she doesn't want that to happen. So come back next week, maybe take out the other drain and fill me up some more.
I'm still optimistic just bummed, I'll get over it I'm sure by the beginning of next week, thought maybe getting out would help, went to walmart for a bit to get new bras bought the wrong size sports bra & jersey shorts comfy things to sit around in. But that only tired me out.
I have my appointment's all set up for next week, Wed. July 13th. exactly 2 months since being diagnosed i will meet with the Nurse practitioner again, the radiologist & the oncologist.
They will be giving me their opinion on my treatment, But treatment will be being done here in NJ, I have a radiologist, but am still looking for an oncologist if anyone has any suggestions I'll take them.
xoxo